POSTED December 16, 2009

Horror Chick, With Melissa Lafsky: The 10 Most Terrifying Unintentional-Horror Movies (Part Two) | The Awl ⚓

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You better be pretty. You better be really fucking pretty. You better be so fucking pretty that the concrete melts and the heavens rumble and the woodland creatures frolic and sing before your all-encompassing epochal beauty. And you’d better STAY that pretty, and pray you get the chance to display it before the Richard Gere equivalent of Charles Keating. Because if you aren’t, and you don’t, you’ll end up like Kit De Luca, beaten by pimps and butt-slammed by winos and scraping for next month’s rent as you strive to avoid getting knifed by the unwashed troglodyte with track marks under his toenails who just paid you $15 for backseat head.

If you are male, simply substitute “rich” for “pretty” in the above paragraph.

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